.Publisher's Note: The observing is the content of a letter coming from Trip 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reviewing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written quite regarding specifics of the mission in the course of the month I've been listed here, primarily for pair of causes: the 1st being actually that there has been extremely little time to perform that kind of creating, and also also given that I am actually uncertain just how pleasant I am actually sharing ideas I provide friends and family along with the rest of the planet.Well, definitely the world altered today. What I mention or even perform is extremely small compared to the significance of what occurred to our nation today when it was actually struck through ... by whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I suppose. Challenging to recognize at whom to direct our temper and also concern ...I had merely finished a lot of duties this morning, the best time-consuming being actually the physical examinations of all crew participants. In a private talk complying with that, the trip plastic surgeon told me they were possessing a really bad day on the ground. I had no idea ...He defined the condition to me as finest he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually shocked, after that terrified. My very first notion was that this wasn't a real conversation, that I was still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply failed to seem possible on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't also think of the details, also just before the headlines of further devastation began coming in.Vladimir visited quite quickly, picking up that one thing extremely major was being actually explained. I swayed Michael right into the module too. They were actually also surprised as well as stunned. After we authorized off, I tried to explain to Vladimir and Michael as best I could possibly the possible measurement of the act of horror in midtown Manhattan as well as at the Government. They precisely understood and also were really sympathetic.I eyed the Globe Chart on the pc to see where over the planet we were actually and also observed that our company were actually coming southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be actually skipping New England in a couple of mins. I zoomed around the station till I found a home window that would certainly offer me a view of NYC as well as took hold of the nearby electronic camera. It took place to become a video camera, and I was appearing southern from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess a strange blossom to it at the bottom of the column that was actually streaming south of the metropolitan area. After reviewing among the news articles we simply received, I think we were actually examining NY around the time of, or soon after, the collapse of the second tower. Exactly how horrible ...I panned the video camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to observe if I could possibly see every other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing at all showed up.It was actually quite hard to deal with job after that, though our team possessed some to carry out, however on the next track our team traversed the United States additional south. All three of us were actually functioning 1 or 2 cameras to make an effort to acquire scenery of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, however no specific resource can be seen. Everything looked fabulous from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't visualize the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Aside from the emotional influence of our country being actually dealt with and countless our people and possibly some close friends being actually gotten rid of, the best overwhelming sensation being actually where I am is among solitude.Upcoming day ... I suppose the exhaustion and also emotional pressure acquired the most ideal of me. I couldn't remain awake and remain to create. Today was still complicated, but our company began getting even more relevant information, plus our team possessed the respect of speaking straight with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our company that the ground crews would certainly remain to operate as well as guarantee our safety, in addition to the safe function of the Place. We likewise learnt through our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that added that the partners in the System are all completely devoted to carrying on secure procedures and help. These were never ever concerns for me. I know all these people! The ground crews have actually been very helpful, quite understanding of the effect of the updates, and have actually tried to become as practical as feasible. They have all been actually quite professional as well as centered though I can not envision the distraction of the sort of headlines coming in and the thought and feelings that authorities structures might be in danger. They never bypassed a beat, even when relocating nerve center. And also a team of senior employees and pals provided our company a fairly detailed briefing about what was recognized and also what was actually being actually carried out in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was really helpful and sort of all of them to accomplish in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has additionally been supporting and useful, trying to uplink news articles when our very own possessions were actually unusable, as well as pointing out kind phrases ...My crewmates have been terrific, too. They understand it's been actually a hard day for me and the folks on the ground, and they've tried to become as also keeled as well as useful as feasible. Michael even fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they provide me plenty of room to think when I required it. They are extremely considerate and obviously outraged at whoever would certainly perform this.I know many individuals in Washington, so many folks that take a trip to DC as well as New York City, plenty of that are flies, that I felt certain I would certainly get at the very least a handful of parts of trouble over the following handful of times. I obtained the very first one today when I learned that the Captain of the American Airlines jet that reached the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I came across Chic during cadet summer season when our company resided in the D&B together, as well as our experts had considerable amounts of classes with each other. I can't envision what he must of experienced, as well as now I hear that he may possess increased even more than our experts can even think about through possibly avoiding his plane from being actually the one to deal with the White Property. What a terrible reduction, but I ensure Chic was combating fearlessly throughout. And also tears do not flow the same in space ...It's difficult to describe just how it experiences to be the only American completely off the earth each time like this. The sensation that I ought to be there along with every one of you, managing this, assisting in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I recognize that we are on the limit (or even past) of an awful shift in the background of the globe. A lot of things will certainly never ever be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the manies thousand and 1000s of individuals straight affected through these horrible acts of violence, but probably for we all. Our team will find ourselves experiencing in different ways concerning dozens of things, consisting of possibly space expedition, sadly.It's unpleasant to observe smoke pouring from injuries in your own country coming from such an excellent vantage point. The duality of getting on a space capsule devoted to improving daily life on the planet and viewing lifestyle being actually damaged by such witting, horrendous acts is actually jolting to the mind, despite who you are actually. As well as the knowledge that whatever will certainly be actually various than when our experts launched by the opportunity our company land is a little disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our leadership that we will definitely do everything achievable to much better guard her and our family members, and to bring justice for what has been actually performed. I have confidence that the good folks at NASA are going to perform every thing important to proceed our purpose safely and securely and also return our company safely and securely at the correct time. As well as I overlook each of you significantly. I can not exist with you personally, as well as our experts possess a very long way to go to complete our goal, however be particular that my heart is actually with you, as well as recognize you are in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last character ... Luckily, it is actually been an occupied full week up right here. And also to prove that, like our country, our experts are actually continuing our designated course with organization customarily (as long as feasible). Tonight the most up to date addition to the station, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (US time), it will definitely dock along with our team, at a slot never ever used before on the nadir edge of the Solution Module. This brand-new module will certainly provide our company yet another location to dock a Progress or even Soyuz as well as will deliver a big airlock with pair of able to be used hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our team will perform a few of just before our company return.The concern prior to in taking care of this week was too little news. The trouble now is actually too much. It came simultaneously when email was recovered, and also there is actually not enough opportunity to read everything! Plus it is actually too tough to deal with all of it instantly. However I appreciate getting it, and I truly appreciate the fantastic letters of support and friendly relationship I am actually getting.We are flourishing aboard, receiving our work carried out, as well as referring to points. Final evening our team possessed a long discussion over dinner about the implication of these celebrations, the possible actions to follow, and also what need to be carried out. After dinner, Michael resolved informing me that every email he obtained coming from pals in Russia stated especially to inform me how sorry they were that this happened, stretching their condolences, as well as talking to exactly how I was actually doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Urban area. (Both the Russian and the English phrases are a lot too long to pronounce easily.) Quite types people.For the final 2 times, the Russian MCC has sufficed to transfer real-time shows of broadcast headlines concerning the activity and linked stories, to ensure I was effectively notified. Every specialist who has begun the line to go over a procedure or even a complication contends some aspect expanded hellos to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that as a result of the wedding of recognition in the US, all the time folks had been taking blooms as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States consular office in Moscow, as well as this night they were igniting candle lights in the road outside the embassy. Exactly how the world has modified.Folks just about everywhere appear to identify the senselessness and also terror within this attack. And the significant loss. Moscow has actually taken care of these sort of complications in the final few years with apartment or condo as well as train battles, so they are as restless to do away with this hazard as we are actually. Yet all-time low product line is actually that there are actually good individuals just about everywhere who desire to reside in peace. I read that a kid asked, "The United States is thus excellent to various other nations, our company regularly help everybody, exactly how can they hate our company a lot?".I really hope the instance of participation as well as count on that this space probe and all people in the course illustrate daily will someday influence the remainder of the planet to function similarly. They must!Sadly, our company won't be piloting over the United States while people are igniting candle lights. Don't recognize if our company could possibly view that anyway. Our experts carried out, nevertheless, view a really unusual as well as stunning sight a handful of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our experts were actually surpassing it and it emerged about three minutes after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine hit our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It looked like a big comet along with a right, broad tail silhouetted versus the black world below. In spite of some poor illumination for some time as the sunshine struck our window at a reduced perspective, I dealt with some video clip of it as initially our team passed the spacecraft, and after that enjoyed it start to mesmerize as it obtained elevation and also rate. I filmed till principal motor deadline and booster splitting up happened equally our experts moved toward dawn on the Himalayas. A remarkable sight in a memorable week ...Life goes on, also precede. Our company're listed here to keep ... Frank.